Overview
In this lesson, we’ll talk about how our relationships shape our character and influence what we care about. We’ll explore how building on shared understanding and seeking unity can strengthen relationships. Finally, we’ll cover the stages of team development. This will help you be successful in the team project, but more importantly, it will help you develop the relationships that matter most and aid you in your quest to be a disciple leader.
Relationships
If you were to list the most important things that you have, they probably wouldn’t be things at all—they’d be the relationships you have. Your spouse, children, parents, siblings, and friends would probably all rate higher than your phone, car, house, hobbies, or career. That’s because our relationships shape our character and influence what we care about. Whether it’s our relationship with God, our family, or our fellow man, it’s through our relationships that we find meaning and purpose in life.
Understanding
The basis of all relationships, including our relationship with God, begins with understanding. Think about the relationships that you have with others. The depth of that relationship is probably measured by how well you understand each other.
At work, understanding tasks and goals with colleagues boosts productivity. Knowing your teammates' talents also helps achieve common goals. With friends, sharing personal details and listening builds a bond based on understanding and trust. Marriage relies on accepting each other completely, fostering love and trust for unity. Understanding God's attributes deepens faith and relationship with Him, which is essential for spiritual growth. The Savior explained that “this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3). The examples above demonstrate that the level of influence that people have on us is determined by the depth of our relationship with them—by how well we understand each other.
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
From these verses, we learn that Christ knows everything about us. He knows how we feel when we are sick, depressed, lonely, happy, or sad. He even knows what our weaknesses (infirmities) feel like because he has experienced them with us. He’s not sympathizing with us—we are having shared experiences. He did all of these things so that He would know how to influence us, guide us, and help us (succor us) according to our individual needs.
Unity
At the third general conference of the Church, the Lord declared that “if ye are not one ye are not mine” (D&C 38:27). He also said, “Let every man esteem his brother as himself” (two times in the same section, actually: D&C 38: 24, 25). These declarations are not new; the prophets have constantly counseled us to be one. Consider the following scriptures:
- “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).
- “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Corinthians 1:10).
- “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind” (Moses 7:18).
- “And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21).
There are places that the Lord needs us to go that we cannot go alone. We are meant to work together, to worship together, and to strengthen one another (see Moroni 6:4–6). The Lord has designed our mortal existence so that we must help one another as we rely upon the mercy of Jesus Christ. To accept Christ as our Savior, we must be willing to take upon ourselves His name and be baptized (Mosiah 5:8–13). We cannot, however, take up the name of Christ unless we are willing to do His work, which requires us to “bear one another’s burdens … mourn with those that mourn … comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:8–9).
Answer these questions to see what you remember from reading the text above.
- The gospel of Jesus Christ helps us see ourselves and others clearly as children of __________.
ANSWER - All relationships, including our relationship with God begin with __________.
ANSWER - We can achieve unity in relationships by esteeming others as ourselves, working together and being __________.
ANSWER
We Cannot Go Alone
President Henry B. Eyring taught that “His desire is to grant us that sacred wish for unity out of His love for us. He cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. It is not surprising then that God urges us to gather so that He can bless us. He wants us to gather into families. He has established classes, wards, and branches and commanded us to meet together often. In those gatherings, which God has designed for us, lies our great opportunity. We can pray and work for the unity that will bring us joy and multiply our power to serve” (Our Hearts Knit as One, October 2008 general conference).
The gospel encourages us to work together and move from independence and dependence to interdependence. Interdependence is when we combine our various talents and abilities to do something that none of us could do alone—in other words, teamwork. Compare teamwork with people who try to be completely independent, believing that they have to do everything on their own, or with people who rely solely on the efforts of others. Teamwork is at the heart of disciple leadership. It’s an acknowledgment of Paul’s teaching that “the body is not one member, but many” and that together “[we] are the body of Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:14, 27). True interdependence or teamwork includes having a sincere desire to work together. It is a free offering of your talent without thinking about what you’ll get in return.
The Stages of Team Development
One way to improve your ability to work in teams is to understand the stages of team development so that you know how to respond in various situations. In 1965, Bruce Tuckman published his theory of group dynamics which included four phases of team development—forming, storming, norming, and performing. Later he added a fifth stage called adjourning. Tuckman believed that all teams inevitably went through these five stages before they became a high performing team. Over the years, this model has proven to be an effective tool to help teams to be more self-aware and take proactive steps to improve.
The graph above shows how the different stages of team development affect productivity. Note that during the storming phase, productivity may actually go down as team members struggle to establish themselves.
Another popular way to illustrate the stages of team development is by using arrow diagrams like the ones below because they show how teammates relate to each other during the different phases.
Forming
Think back to when you first joined PathwayConnect. You might have felt nervous, excited, and unsure about what to expect. This is normal during the forming stage, where everyone is getting to know each other and figuring out their roles. People are excited but not yet productive because they're still acting as individuals rather than a team.
During this stage, focus on:
- Having a clear vision: Leaders should explain what the team aims to achieve, even if all the details aren't clear yet.
- Explaining the what and the why: Team members need to understand the purpose behind their tasks.
- Modeling good behavior: Leaders should set an example of how team members should interact and work together. This helps establish norms that guide the team's behavior and collaboration.
Remember, without a clear vision, teams can struggle. Leaders play a crucial role in guiding the team and fostering a supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable contributing. In Proverbs 29:18, it warns, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” If your team doesn’t have a clear vision of what they are doing, ask for clarification.
Storming
You may not have faced the storming phase in your group yet, as it typically happens when you need to work together on projects, not just attend class. However, the team project will bring this phase. You'll work with your group on assignments, which might lead to disagreements about how to proceed, causing conflicts over roles and authority. This phase can make you doubt achieving your goals and form negative opinions about others.
During the storming stage:
- Look out for conflicts or demotivation.
- Reinforce the project's vision.
- Clarify goals, deadlines, and resources.
- Promote respect and acceptance.
- Lead by example and show how the team should act.
Identify signs of storming and address them by reminding the team of the project's purpose and clarifying its scope. Maintain respectful communication and model positive behavior. Engage actively with the team to guide them through this phase.
Norming
In the norming stage, the group is starting to work as a team. The arrows show that the team may have disagreements and different ideas about how to do the work, but there is now a shared vision and people are working together. There is a feeling of cooperation, and team members take responsibility for their success.
During the norming stage:
- Watch for signs that the team might be going back to the storming stage or engaging in groupthink (decision-making that discourages creativity or free-thinking).
- Encourage openness and collaboration.
- Leaders need to shepherd the group and reinforce the objectives and strategy.
During the norming stage, it can be easy to fall back into the storming stage. Team members tend to be careful about what they say or do to avoid conflict. This can cause team members to stop bringing up new ideas. Team leaders need to shepherd the group during this time and encourage openness and collaboration. They also need to reinforce the objectives and strategy so that team members can agree on the same approach.
Performing
The arrows in the performing stage have merged into one arrow, showing that the team has a unified vision and has established processes.
This doesn’t mean that high performing teams don’t have different ideas. In fact, high performing teams expect and often require differing opinions as long as they follow established procedures.
This phase is marked by high productivity, motivation, and the ability to work without supervision. Team members are competent, know how to solve problems, and follow the established structure.
During the performing stage:
- Encourage teams to make decisions and have ownership of results.
- Watch for changes that might cause the team to revert to previous stages.
Once the team has reached the performing stage, empower them to make decisions and adapt to new situations. Teams can easily revert to the previous stages when there is a change in membership, direction, or tasks. Watch for signs that the team is going backwards and help guide them back to performing.
Adjourning
Teams typically disband after completing a task, which can leave members feeling a bit sad. This often happens in PathwayConnect groups too. Initially, some students may not enjoy gathering each week, but by the end of the program, they don't want it to end. You might have felt similar when you finished volunteering service. However, just as there are always another other service opportunities, there will be more projects in the future.
During the adjourning stage:
- Celebrate achievements.
- Leaders should acknowledge the team's work.
- Find best practices.
- Reflect on successes and learn from them to help future teams.
Answer these questions to see what you remember from reading the text above.
- What is the name of the phase where team members establish themselves and their roles, often feeling nervous and excited?
ANSWER - When might conflicts over roles and authority arise within a team?
ANSWER - In which stage do team members start working together with a shared vision, even though they may still have disagreements?
ANSWER
W04 Gathering Prep
What will you do this week, in preparation for the gathering, to exemplify the Learning Model principle of “Teach One Another?” Seek out an opportunity before the gathering this week to teach one person what you have learned about the four stages of team development. Make a connection with what you are learning to something specific happening in your life right now.
After reading this lesson, ponder the following questions. If desired, record your thoughts in a learning journal.
- President Boyd K. Packer observed teamwork in action when attending a country fair where teams of oxen were competing to see which team could pull the most weight. If you can, watch the video called Equally Yoked Together (02:50 mins, "Equally Yoked Together" Transcript) and contemplate how teams that were equally yoked were able to pull more weight.
- How can recognizing the stages of team development help you work more productively with others?
- Career Connection--> Being on time to group meetings can have a big impact on your team and on your standing at work. If you must be late or even absent, communicate as quickly as you can, every time. Be resourceful and have backup plans so that you can avoid being late or absent as much as possible.